well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
