i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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