mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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