it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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