So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
