seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
