Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Are we still banned from the library?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
