somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
