Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
