So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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