if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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