exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
