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the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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