I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize