What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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