And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
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I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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