it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
