Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
