please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
