First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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