lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
