On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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