speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
