Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
