he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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