He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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