those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
