I think my fart just growled at me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
