hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
