this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
