Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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