I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
