If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Rumble strips road head = magical
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
