So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
