There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can I color on your dick again?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
