just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
