VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
