Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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