Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
