Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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