duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
