I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
