it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
