we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
