She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
