In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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