You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
