I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize