be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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