this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
