evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
