***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
