dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't turn off my feet"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
