My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize