I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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