He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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