id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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