I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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