I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
