Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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