I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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