This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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